Initial D Extreme Stage Review (IMPORT)

  Well, the holy grail of drift racing games returns to shit on the competition and proceed to wipe the floor with it. But you ask: does it actually live up to it? Yes and no. 

  There are the typical Japanese mass-marketing cliches: thumping J-Pop/Techno soundtrack, anime, and adults that look a hell of a lot like children. The anime cutscenes are great, and provide yet another instance for me to point out that I wish I knew Japanese in lieu of Spanish. But heys, I can at least address you as my friend in Japanese. 

   I bet half of you are thinking it is guranteed hard-core language and you won’t be able to understand. I bought the ASIA version meaning: no rating and ENGLISH manual.

   How is the actual game? Kick-ass. The speed is awesome, the music is great (if you approach it with an open mind) and the commentary in Japanese by the story characters during races adds to the tension. The graphics are no Gran Turismo, but they are more geared towards GT5 than most racing games. The headlights at night, the grael, racing through rural Japanese prefectures, it all comes together.

   At the end of the day, you are left with what is most likely the winner of best import and racing game of the year. However, “Aquanaut’s Holiday” or “Afrika/Hakuna Matata” may still beat this.

 

                                                                                VERDICT:

                                                                                    8.6/10 EDITOR’S CHOICE

Patapon Review

   This game is different. You basically act like a demented madman pounding your thumbs into the PSP in absurd movements as if you are a mentally challenged maestro. But, it is basically Command and Conquer mixed with Loco Roco (yeah, I know, those two go together like puke and blankets from your childhood). This game is fun as your control giant eyeballs stabbing shit to the beat. But then the more I think of it, the more I am distrubed as it is kind of creepy to stab something to a beat. But, whatever. Go Sony Computer Entertainment Internal Development Japan Studio! Hu-hah!

                                                                          VERDICT:

                                                                        8.468099/10  EDITOR’S CHOICE

Soul Calibur IV Review

  You know, I am REALLY damn glad I was not in the midnight line for this. Mainly because as a Dreamcast owner and lover of the original Soul Caliburs, I was HUGELY dissapointed in this game. Lemme explain.

   When you have an effing next gen game, you can fit the modes from previous iterations of your franchise on the disc. There is no damn excuse for having one multiplayer versus mode. That is called being lazy. I mean, really, you couldn’t transfer some material over from a last gen game to a next gen game? Get a grip Namco-Bandai.

    The bitching continues with reason 2. How about maybe making customization fun? It was fun in SC II to make your person look cool and be armored well. In this game, if you want to be armored like a tank, you can damn well bet you will look like a freakin’ tank. Not cool. Oh, and once you unlock the Sould Edge weapon, you don’t even use other weapons due to the fact they all pale in comparsion. Oh, and there is no weapon custimization. I mean really? Even Dirge of Cerebus: Final Fantasy VII on the PS2 had that. And that wasn’t a very good game. 

    Paragraph of whining part 3 will now focus on the story mode. Hm….I  kind of remember liking the story mode on SC II on Gamecube. Oh, I get it! I am supposed to expect 4+ years later the story mode to be worse than it was before! I joke, I joke. But really, the story mode sucks. The backdrop (which is unexplainable, but Namco tried to explain it previosuly in each other game) is not even attempted to be explained in this version. Oh yeah, and the story mode is SHORTER than the arcade mode. 

    And my final bone to rip from the body of Soul Calibur, the bonus characters. Who the **** decided to put Star Wars characters in a 16th century fighting game? Because they should lose their job, pronto. I mean, the characters ruin the authentic mystical magicy feel the game has. And then there is the Apprentice, thrown in to promote the new Star Wars game as it will most likely suck and Lucasarts needs all the PR they can get. He RUINS the arcade mode. I am definetely a seasoned Soul veteran and with my best characters equipped with the Soul Edge weapon and really good armor, I can’t even come close to winning.

   This really could have been the best fighting game ever, topping the original. But due to a few major screw ups, it isn’t. Listen, I am not saying don’t play this game. Wait for it to be $20, and then play it. Or rent it, or mosy on over to my house as I sit in self-loathing that I bought this. This is a huge letdown when compared to the 2nd and original. 

                                                                        VERDICT:

                                                                               7.4/10

Vimeo No Longer Likes “Importing Games With Dylan”

   It has come to my attention recently that the bastards at Vimeo will no longer support game videos. Meaning, anyone who posts a video of themselves play a game will have it unpleasently taken down. So, I now begin the process of finding a new video-site-thing.

Mega Man Maverick Hunter X

   You walk around with a freaking cannon on your arm. Your best friend has a lightsaber AND a cannon. And you can light people on fire with your hand. I honestly cannot think of what I would rather do on a Friday morning while drinking my tea in bed and watching Miley Cyrus on the today show. Shit, I shouldn’t have said that. Honest, I didn’t know she was on, I, I, just,- I WAS ONLY WATCHING THE FIRST FIVE! THE GAME’S HARD AND I CAN’T DRINK MY TEA WHILE PLAYING! LAY OFF DAMNIT!

                                                                 VERDICT:

                                                                    9/10  EDITOR’S CHOICE

Jirbo Break Review

  It is free and it is better than that stupid Apple iPod application. And it is addictive. I beat all 15 levels. You try suckers.

                                                                                          VERDICT:

                                                                                              7.5/10

Tap Tap Revenge Review

  It is a free game for the iPhone. There is some neat music. Kinda? This is way to easy. I played on EXTREME (hardest) first time and broke preset records. Ouch. But it is free…

 

                                                                    VERDICT:

                                                                            6.9/10